You’ve left the nest and flew away to become your own person. You want to reach a point where you make your own decisions. You want people to take you seriously as a professional. And, you are craving for a flourishing career. However, just as you are ready to take the next step, you have to dial-up mom and dad and ask them for money.
One day, you are flaunting off your independent and ability-to-handle-your-shit self and the next day, you’ve turned into that helpless fifteen-year0ol begging for some extra pocket money. It’s so damn humiliating!
I know the mere idea of borrowing money from parents can make some feel…gross. They’d rather be broke than end up with that icky feeling owing their family money.
I get that you’ll think your parents would judge your lack of financial responsibility, but aren’t family members supposed to stick together no matter what?
Anyway, I’m not here to debate whether as an adult, you can or cannot borrow money from your parents – hell, blame it on the recession, pandemic, yada yada yada.
If asking your parents for financial help is your only option, I strongly recommend you to read the following tips.
#1. Prepare For The Conversation
“It pays to be prepared…”
You may be a thirty-five year-old grown-up but for your parents, you will always be their kid. However, in this situation, you cannot be seen as immature or childish. You want your parents to see a responsible, disciplined, well-prepared and confident adult.
If you have no other option than to ask your parents, you need to have an action plan. Make a list, for example, of everything you want to talk about with your parents. No one knows your parents better than you. You’ll know beforehand all the arguments that your parents will most likely raise, so write them down, address all the weak points and review them a few times.
#2. Never Compromise Your Parent’s Finances
According to a study in the US, one in 10 parents said they have not been able to save for their retirements because they’ve always been financially supporting their children.
Everyone knows how compassionate and caring parents can be (we’ve got exceptional cases of course). They will be willing to sacrifice everything to get their kids out of trouble.
However, as a child to your parent and as a grown-up, it is now your responsibility not to burden your parent with your financial problems.
Did your parents already have plans to save up for their retirement? Is your mother going to dip into her 400 (k) only to pay back your student loan debt? Is your father going to take up some extra part-time jobs only to help you get back on your feet?
When you find yourself entangled in a financial situation, your first thought goes to your parents. However, don’t you think they’ve already done so much for you? Why should they be sacrificing if you want to buy a luxurious house or want to get an expensive graduate degree?
But, it’s a different matter if they’ve got all bases covered and are willing to help you financially.
#3. Be Clear, Honest And Humble
In this situation, I’d say “honesty is the best policy.”
Your first instinct might be to lie or blame someone or an event for your financial problem. But, lying about money to your parents can make them lose their trust in you. Instead, try to be upfront and speak humbly about your needs. If you’ve made a mistake, confess it.
Whatever the outcome, remember not to argue with your parents. They have the right to question your reasons and even refuse to give you money. But, at least you’ve tried.